I was one of those people- the child of a whole generation of people, in fact- who associated the need for “counseling” with being “crazy.” A stubbornly independent thinker and someone who processes things slowly and internally (if at all), I never really understood why I would ever need to go to a counselor. Plus, it costs a good amount of money and that always poses an obstacle for me. However, when Jedd and I were engaged, I had heard from person after person about how worthwhile pre-marital counseling can be. I finally gave in. Despite my preconceived ideas and price sensitivities, Jedd and I both knew the first priority was to invest in our marriage. We found a great counselor. And yes, it was worth it.
As a matter of fact, we’re back for seconds! A year and a half later, we decided our Christmas present to each other would be follow up sessions with the counselor. It may not be the most fun gift, because there’s always more to work on in a marriage, but hopefully it will prove to be fruitful and long-lasting. Because it can be so easy to get into habits and fall into ruts, our goal is to do something at least once a year to work on our relationship. It’s one more way we’re trying to be “simply intentional.”
My marriage and family therapist heart is all a flutter after I read your post. It is really inspiring to know a couple like you guys. Sometimes it is so difficult for me working with couples who come into my office with their relationship in pieces with counseling as their last ditch effort. What I love about what you are doing is that it is PROACTIVE and not REACTIVE! Your relationship health is just like physical health with its own amount of work and maintenance involved. I wish everyone could look at counseling the way you do, without stigma, but as something intentional and worthwhile, especially when you are not having big problems! That is the best time to build up that connection and “couplehood”. It is truly much easier to stregthen a foundation when it is not on rocky ground. 🙂