* Life Updates, * Michelle Thoughts

Preventative Medicine: Marriage Counseling

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I was one of those people- the child of a whole generation of people, in fact- who associated the need for “counseling” with being “crazy.” A stubbornly independent thinker and someone who processes things slowly and internally (if at all), I never really understood why I would ever need to go to a counselor. Plus, it costs a good amount of money and that always poses an obstacle for me. However, when Jedd and I were engaged, I had heard from person after person about how worthwhile pre-marital counseling can be. I finally gave in. Despite my preconceived ideas and price sensitivities, Jedd and I both knew the first priority was to invest in our marriage. We found a great counselor. And yes, it was worth it.

As a matter of fact, we’re back for seconds! A year and a half later, we decided our Christmas present to each other would be follow up sessions with the counselor. It may not be the most fun gift, because there’s always more to work on in a marriage, but hopefully it will prove to be fruitful and long-lasting. Because it can be so easy to get into habits and fall into ruts, our goal is to do something at least once a year to work on our relationship. It’s one more way we’re trying to be “simply intentional.”

* Jedd Thoughts

P90X Results and Reflection

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90 days.

Lots of pushups. Lots of trying to do pull-ups. Lots of Ab Ripper X (the Ab routine of the program).

5am early morning work outs. 10pm, last minute, have-to-do-this-before-I-go-to-bed work outs. Working out during the holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas break- that was dumb).

Working out with Michelle (thank you for your support and encouragement). Working out alone with only Tony Horton (P90X creator and host) to comfort me. Working out around my work schedule.

Learning to not give up. Learning that I can be disciplined if I want to. Learning you cannot lose love handles or your belly if you keep eating unhealthy and drinking beer. Learning to love Yoga.

—-

As you might recall, I started this challenge 90 days ago (if you don’t remember you can refer to it here). But let me give you my two cents about the program because I know many of you want to know if it works. To be frank, it does work. In fact, it works well. But there’s a catch (there always is with these infomercial type of things): this will only work well if you commit and actually do the program. Was I perfect and did I do every exercise all the way through? No. In the beginning I didn’t finish through the programs (it was tough). Was it easy to give an hour of my life a day? This sucked. Did I change the my diet? Only in the last month. But if you do decide to do this program, if you commit and really try, you will see results.

You remember that age-old adage about “eat right and exercise”?  Well, it makes sense. Not to knock P90X, because it really is a well thought-out and designed program, but if you were to exercise for an hour or more a day and eat healthy, you would see results no matter what. P90X takes things to the next level, gives you that structure and instruction that you need to see results. I feel stronger, more flexible, and feel more fit than I have in a long time (thanks Tony).

All in all, it does feel great to know that I was able to do this. I’ve decided to keep working out on my own and not necessarily every day. I really appreciate all the emails, phone calls, facebook messages, and asking me in person about how I was doing as it really encouraged me throughout the 90 days. If you have questions about this program please don’t hesitate to contact me and I would be more than happy to help you if you are thinking about doing something like this. I definitely learned a lot and would do things a little different if I did it again.

Enough of my rambling thoughts though. Here are the results (note we took pics on the first day and the 90th day):

* Michelle Thoughts

In Defense of Food

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Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

These three (seemingly obvious) phrases are the premise and the thesis behind the whole book, In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan. I don’t want this post to turn into a book review but I do want to share what I’ve learned from reading it, as it really has been informative and makes me want to learn more about food. (Another interesting piece was the film “Food Inc.”)

“Oddly, Americans got really fat on their new low-fat diet,” Pollan writes of one food fad originating in the 70’s. We think we can determine what is healthy for us by a food’s scientific components. Unfortunately for all the “advances” we’ve made in nutrition science, the Western diet seems to have backfired, causing more disease and obesity than ever before. The truth is, foods are extremely complex and our scientific understanding of them is limited. Perhaps the best way to stay healthy is stick to what has kept us surviving for thousands of years: eating real, whole food. Not the refined, chemically-altered, supplemented imitations of food that stocks much of our grocery stores. Often confused with real food, I learned they’re actually “food products.”

“We have known for a century now that there is a complex of so-called Western diseases- including obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and a specific set of diet-related cancers- that begin almost invariably to appear soon after a people abandons its traditional diet and way of life.”  Did you know that isolated peoples, no matter what kind of traditional diet they eat- from seafood, dairy, meat, or vegetarian- have absolutely no need of a dentist? “The human animal is adapted to, and apparently can thrive on, an extraordinary range of different diets, but the Western diet, however you define it, does not seem to be one of them.” I just find it fascinating that we’ve tried so hard to manufacture better food when, all along, nature was doing its job just fine.  When a fruit is ripe, it smells and looks its best and it has reached its highest nutrition content. With artificial colors, flavors, and synthetic sweeteners- “the senses we rely on to assess new foods and prepare our bodies to deal with them” are not getting the right information. It’s no wonder “thirty years of nutritional advice have left us fatter, sicker, and more poorly nourished.” According to the book, gaps in science, media and marketing pressures, and even hasty government regulations have all played a role in the complex web of reasons why we’ve gotten so off track with our food.

It seems backwards, but the traditional diets of our past- before technology or industrialized food production came into the picture- were actually better for us. Before, we didn’t need nutrition experts- we just ate what, how, and when our culture dictated us to eat. And we ate what was available to us- in season. These days, even innocent apples have wax applied or are stored in gas chambers for up to a year. It’s kind of shocking what we have started to put into our bodies without knowing it.

So Jedd and I have been talking about doing another challenge, and we want to invite our friends and families who are up for it. We want to try to eat whole, minimally processed food for one month. Yes, it may cost a little more. But the author actually mentions that if you spend more of your paycheck on food and more effort preparing it, you are less likely to over-eat. The French are a great example of this. (“How often would you eat french fries if you had to peel, wash, cut and fry them yourself- and then clean up the mess?”)

Suggestions from the book we would follow in our challenge are as follows (PS. We’ll be doing this in the summer for a higher success rate)… Avoid food products with ingredients that are a) unfamiliar, b) unpronounceable, c) more than five in number, or that include d) high fructose corn syrup. Avoid food products that make health claims (they’re probably from big food companies and altered in some way). Shop the peripheries of the supermarket and stay out of the middle. Shop at farmer’s markets. Eat meals. Do your eating at a table. Don’t get your fuel from the same place your car does. Try not to eat alone. Eat more slowly and know when you’re full. Cook food yourself. Grow what you can yourself. Eat wild foods when you can (plants and/or animals). Eat well-grown food from healthy soils (and only eat animals that eat healthy, unprocessed diets too).

* Jedd Thoughts

Hope for Haiti

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I’m in shock. My heart is crushed, and I am deeply saddened.

It’s been about 7 months since our journey to the Haiti we once knew, now forever changed, a Haiti in desperate need of help and hope. You might recall posts from our recent trip about the land, our pictures, our love for the people.

First of all, many thanks to you for your prayers, thoughts, and financial support to organizations like the Red Cross, Mercy Corps, One Days Wages, and of course, our dear friends at Haiti Foundation of Hope. Please continue to pray for the people of Haiti, for the relief work, for those missing loved ones, for the aid workers preparing to travel, and for humility and a way to connect on a humanistic level to those affected by this disaster. There have been many tragedies in our world, yet this one feels so different to me as we think of our friends and the people there, the magnitude of the situation, barely being able to imagine what it’s like down there.

It pains and angers me to read comments that people believe that Haitians somehow deserved this (Read this CNN article about Pat Robertson), that the damage could have been prevented, that we should focus on putting blame on someone or God for the situation. Thankfully, there have been a lot of amazing reflection about this issue (like Donald Miller’s Response) and I am reminded that I do not help the issue by getting angry at others and trying to debate, but instead, I am called to support the relief efforts in anyway possible.

We must use our energy and resource to act and respond to help. I can’t even fathom how people have the audacity to cast away human suffering and need and focus on issues that distract from the true need at hand. I know there are some who can relate to this kind of suffering and tragedy, but for the most of us, we don’t and could never comprehend something to this magnitude.

Imagine sleeping in a building with no steel rebar in it for reinforcement, let alone on something that is kind of mattress. Imagine being one of thousands of homes that are built next to each other, on top of each other. Access to clean water, food, and medical care is scarce. Human waste and trash is hard to remove and transportation to and from your home is either walking or making your way in cramped trucks on rocky pathways that are meant to be roads. There is no stable economy, your country has been hit with several natural disasters, natural resources have been depleted from human action as well as mother nature, and you are too poor to be able to afford to leave and try to make a better life for yourself.

Now sadly, this was just day to day life for the average Haitian. Reality now, a 7.3 magnitude earthquake has just leveled and ravaged this country. All I can think of is, “Why of all places, Haiti?”, especially an earthquake. I read a report about the last major California earthquake and how it caused $20 billion worth of damage and over 80 people were killed. From the reports coming in through the media, tens of thousands have died in the Haitian earthquake and worst yet, aid such as clean water, food, and medicine can’t even make its way on to the island with damaged ports and blocked roads meaning that millions could suffer.

It’s been hard these past couple of days to not feel so saddened, to not feel for so many who have lost loved ones and in many ways the life they’ve known. Yet even in the midst of this chaos, I choose to believe that there is hope for Haiti, I know there is hope for Haiti. If there is a group of people who can endure through hardships, a group of people who know how to survive, and a group of people who will teach us all important lessons about life, it will be the people of Haiti. For many years that have not received the aid and respect they deserve. I hope that in these next couple days, months, and years, we will find a way to come together to work side by side with them to help rebuild their nation and their lives. There is still hope for Haiti.

Here are some pictures I took to get a sense of the buildings that once were, that probably do not exist anymore.

* Michelle Thoughts

Voluntary Simplicity: concluded

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I never concluded with my favorite quotes from the Voluntary Simplicity book by NWEI so here they are:

Chapter 5: Living Simply on Earth

“Most of us get almost all the things we need by buying them; most of us know only vaguely, if at all, where those things come from; and most of us know not at all what damage is involved in their production. We are almost entirely dependent upon an economy  of which we are almost entirely ignorant. … To build houses here, we clear-cut forests there. To have air conditioning here, we strip mine the mountains there.  To drive our cars here, we sink our oil wells there. It is an absentee economy.”

This quote may come off as very pessimistic. What are we supposed to do? But I think it’s worse to be in denial or ignorant than to feel the weight of our problems. By paying attention to the consequences of our actions and our purchases, we can start down the path to being more responsible, one step at a time. I heard recently that there’s a patch of garbage floating out in the Pacific Ocean that is the size of Texas! It can be seen from space! The way we’re consuming and using resources clearly has its effect. Something’s got to change.


“I suggest that each of us strive to fall in love with our own daily life. If we are not loving the life we live, we need to change it, right now, today.”

This quote stood out to me as well. I often focus on having a meaningful life in the grand-scheme-of-things way: my career, big accomplishments, changing the world. But here it says to fall in love with your “daily life.” One thing this series of readings reminds me to do is find joy in the little things, in the journeys, in the time between big accomplishments, in daily life. I confess I am not always in love with my daily life because I’m too focused on the future or I don’t use my time wisely. How much fuller could my life be if I had more appreciation for what would otherwise seem ordinary? If I didn’t zone out on the way to my “next thing”? And I like how no-nonsense this author is if you aren’t in love with your daily life: Change it. Right now. No excuses. Life is too short to wait for circumstances. So that’s something I will be working on is making those changes in my attitude and my day-to-day activities so that I can truly say I am in love with my own daily life.

* Jedd Thoughts, * Life Updates

Work in Progress

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By most people’s standards I’m pretty easy going and laid back.  However, due to life circumstances and happenstances like moving, and doing a workout challenge, being intentional about gift-giving, learning how to be a better husband, my natural tendency to be a people pleaser and accommodator, and my God given personality of being sensitive and emotional, there tends to be seasons (such as now) in which am confronted head on with the things I think of as weaknesses (or things I would like to work on myself personally). Specifically I have come to see that when pressed with a deadline or thinking that I am caring or thinking of others, I often find myself to be inflexible with my own plans or way of doing something, or, on the flip side, I just give up completely and don’t follow through. A good example of this is my theory on how to answer calls on my cell phone.

If you have ever called me you might have realized that I don’t answer the phone as often as I probably should or would like to. The reason for this is not that I don’t want to talk to you, it’s just that I hate answering the phone and not being able to give my full attention or devote my time to that person calling (I know, the people pleaser in me). I believe that if it’s extremely important they will either leave a message or call back again immediately.  My intention is to call the person back when I have the time to have a solid conversation with someone. Of course I know this logic is flawed, extremely flawed, especially when I mean to call someone back after they left a message and I don’t for awhile saying that, “I couldn’t find the time”. Again, this a good illustration of me not changing my way of thinking, and of course not being a good person by calling people back sooner.

Of course since my life also seems to play out in themes. P90X (which, for whatever odd reason, I decided to start during the holiday season) has also been a perfect compliment in my life to help me to see that I need to continue to work on these areas. As I mentioned in previous updates, part of the struggle with p90x is keeping up the motivation to continue, especially when you are stressed and tired. But it was a challenge that I undertook, that I agreed to, and on the days that I don’t want to work out, it is so easy and tempting to just not. Sometimes, I will also find myself giving up in exercises rather than putting more effort into it.  As my aunt said to me recently, “Actions speak louder than words” and while I agree with this, actually doing what you say you are going to do is not necessarily easy, for anyone.

So here is my gift to my friends and family this Christmas: I am going to continue to work hard to answer my phone and return calls in a prompt fashion. I’m going to honor important relationships with love and with flexibility, meaning: being willing to grow and let people encourage and support me, even if it is difficult. But most importantly, I will not let myself give in to complacency and the perception that this “work in progress” (thanks to Gwyneth for this title) is for show. Instead I will use this time in my life as a real opportunity to honor the gifts, blessings, and people God has given me by being authentically and truthfully me, even if that means it will take some time.

On another note, one thing that we have completed is operation “Move the Changs”. We have moved from our friends’ house (whom we will miss) to a small, fun, and manageable apartment in North Portland. For pictures of the craziness that was this weekend, see the before and after pictures below:

* Michelle Thoughts, Videos

Advent Conspiracy

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As Christmas approaches, we want to share these videos from adventconspiracy.org, which played an important role in changing our perspective on Christmas giving.  It’s about spending less but giving MORE.  More relationally, more meaningfully, more intentionally.  Here’s what Advent Conspiracy says:

“The story of Christ’s birth is a story of promise, hope, and a revolutionary love.

So, what happened? What was once a time to celebrate the birth of a savior has somehow turned into a season of stress, traffic jams, and shopping lists.

And when it’s all over, many of us are left with presents to return, looming debt that will take months to pay off, and this empty feeling of missed purpose. Is this what we really want out of Christmas?

What if Christmas became a world-changing event again?

Welcome to Advent Conspiracy.”

“Time is the real gift Christmas offers us, and no matter how hard we look, it can’t be found at the mall. Time to make a gift that turns into the next family heirloom. Time to write mom a letter. Time to take the kids sledding. Time to bake really good cookies and sing really bad Christmas carols. Time to make love visible through relational giving. Sounds a lot better than getting a sweater two sizes too big, right? Need a few ideas? Just click here and see what others have done to give more during the advent season.”

* Jedd Thoughts

Day 27: Update and Results

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My results after 27 days:

Well everyone, the streak is alive at 27 and nearly 1/3 of the way completed with my P90X challenge and I’m excited to share that the results so far look as good if not better than the picture above. Of course I’m just joking, but not really, well..I don’t look like Bruce Lee and don’t imagine that I will after the challenge is done, however, I wanted to share two pictures that show some results in the area of flexibility:

Before the start of the challenge:                            Day 27 of the challenge:

Now my goal is not necessarily to become more flexible, but this is a huge perk and I’m sure that this will be good for me in the future. 🙂

This past week has been the extremely difficult. While it’s been great to see and feel some results, waking up at 5am to work out is taking its toll. I’m finding that its hard to wake up (especially with the cold winter settling in) and by mid-day I am crashing (specifically around 2:30pm).

While sleep is an important factor of success, I’m also starting to notice that diet plays a big role in our health, (duh!) especially when doing a program like this. I haven’t really changed my eating habits or really know what I should be doing (I’d welcome any advice). I don’t think I’m getting enough protein, I think I’m still eating to much sugar and fats (love my fries), and probably not drinking enough water as I should. Again, my results is not to lose tons of weight or to become a body builder. However, I wonder what my results would be if I changed my diet (I guess there’s still 60 days too).

I noticed that my motivation this week was severely tested. As you become stronger, more flexible, and more comfortable with exercises, I have found that it is difficult to increase intensity and easy to find ways to cheat your way through exercises that you know will be difficult. There’s a temptation to go through the motions but more importantly, avoid the hurt or discomfort, but its important to fight through this in order to be successful. To just be complacent, to not work hard is essentially giving up which defeats the whole purpose of the challenge and actually hurts me in the long run. It teaches me that it’s ok to be lazy. It’s one thing to stop if you tried to work hard and you cannot do it. It’s another thing to not try or intentionally give up.

Overall, I’m pretty stoked that I’ve completed an entire month, a little overwhelmed thinking that there is still two months to go. Yet, I am encouraged by little victories like being able to stretch down to the floor, able to wake up at 5 in the morning when the weather is below 32 degrees, and working out especially on the days (and there are many) when I don’t feel like it. I am thankful for Michelle for waking up early to exercise with me or  the way she speak words of encouragement to me when I wake up. But most of all, I’m just glad that I haven’t given up because again, if you know (the old) me, doing something-anything- intentionally for even a couple of consecutive days is a challenge, let alone 27 days….

For this week: Core, Cardio, Chest-Shoulders-Triceps-Ab Ripper, Yoga, Legs-Back Ab Ripper, Kenpo, Stretch

Thanks everyone for the encouragement.

* Jedd Thoughts

A Long Overdue Post

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I was struggling last night working on a post about being thankful. I looked over the words and felt sick and uninspired by my written garbage. To be honest, I just felt it wasn’t very truthful and it wasn’t very me.

We just watched the movie “Julie and Julia” (a movie I didn’t think I would like so much) that shared the lives of two remarkable women. I was impressed by their stories (won’t spoil the movie) that in good times or bad, we must be who we are, do what we love, and above all, do what my dad has always said to me, “Just be thankful.”

I left the movie reflecting and convicted that often, I am not as grateful for the life I have as I should be. I wonder if I tell and show the people who are most important to me that I love them enough, I wonder if they know. I wonder about the people who I haven’t spoken to in years, or loved ones that have passed on, whether or not they knew how much they mean to me. Of course I also think about those that have also hurt me, whether they knew or not, if they know how much they affected my life, the memories I cannot forget, the forgiveness that was hard to find. And finally, I think of those that I have hurt, and whether they know how sorry I am, whether I meant to hurt them or not.

Yet, I am constantly reminded by others and God that in my life, that all of it, the good and the difficult, is my life. Each hurtful comment, each hug of support, each difficult choice, each hair on my head lost, each treasured and also painful memory makes me who I am, and while there is a lot I am not proud of, I do find hope in where I am now and I truly am thankful for my life and the people in it.

I want my Dad’s words of “Just be thankful,” to be my mantra and life goal. I think of the other movie I saw today, “UP”, (it’s vacation….you are allowed two movies on vacation). I am deeply touched how they showed that no matter how painful it is to lose someone you love, that the gift is to treasure every single moment.

Thank you God for the life I have lived so far, please help me to be thankful for all of it, and for whatever is to come. Please help me to be thankful and show my gratitude everyday for those that I love and for those that are difficult to love. Thank you for movies like “Julie and Julia” and “UP”, and thank you for making me, me.

I leave you with one of my favorite poems that truly speaks to me about who I am, and what I would say if someone wanted to know about me.  Thanks William.

 

Ask Me

Some time when the river is ice ask me

mistakes I have made. Ask me whether

what I have done is my life. Others

have come in their slow way into

my thought, and some have tried to help

or to hurt: ask me what difference

their strongest love or hate has made.

 

I will listen to what you say.

You and I can turn and look

at the silent river and wait. We know

the current is there, hidden; and there

are comings and goings from miles away

that hold the stillness exactly before us.

What the river says, that is what I say.

-William Stafford

 

ps. I really appreciate everyone’s support with my P90X challenge. Day 19 and still going strong… J

* Michelle Thoughts

Making A Living: Voluntary Simplicity cont.

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Chapter 3: Making A Living

“We must take time to dress for our jobs, commute to our jobs, think about our jobs at work and at home, ‘decompress’ from our jobs.  We must spend our evenings and weekends in mindless ‘escape entertainment’ in order to ‘recreate’ from our jobs.”

“How many people have you seen who are more alive at the end of the work day than they were at the beginning?”

“For most human history people only worked for two or three hours per day.”

“We’ve begun to lose the fabric of family, culture, and community that gave meaning to life outside the workplace. … Because life outside the workplace has lost vitality and meaning, work has ceased being a means to an end [financial support] and become an end in itself. … Our jobs now serve the function that traditionally  belonged to religion: they are the place where we seek answers to the perennial questions: ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Why am I here?’ and ‘What’s it all for?'”

“Having the financial independence to walk away rarely triggers people to do just that.  The reality is, making money is such hard work that it changes you.  It takes twice as long as anyone plans for. It requires more sacrifices than anyone expects. You become so emotionally invested in that world- and psychologically adapted to it- that you don’t really want to ditch it.”

There is this paradox between not letting your job be the center of your life and finding a job that you “come alive” doing.  With the amount of time we spend at our jobs (see first quote), it seems we should find something we truly enjoy doing.  But at the same time, our jobs aren’t necessarily supposed to be the one source of our satisfaction, nor the source of our identity- they’re a means for us to enjoy the rest of our life (assuming we have time and energy left to enjoy it).  I found a lot of “food for thought” in this chapter, and I welcome your comments and reflections.